Marek vs. Melanie

Marek vs. Melanie

Classroom Confrontation a Sign of Dark Days at Comm Department

                                                   By Pablo Kay

Mounting tension in the Communications department recently spilled over into conflict last Thursday when Melanie assaulted Marek in front of an entire class. What started out as a minor interruption quickly degenerated into an ugly confrontation that even turned physical.  And who would have thought it was all over a Froggy key chain?

            The 11:15 Comm 209 journalism class started out normally enough: Marek, the class’s instructor, was ranting about the effects of the painkiller Oxycontin and trying to get his students to commence a 10-point takedown of an article he wrote during his glory days at The New York Times about Knicks ex-coach Dan Brown. As he was bragging about his impromptu roadside interview with the coach himself, Marek was suddenly interrupted by Dr. Gencarelli’s secretary Melanie Morales. At that point no one in the room, including the professor himself, could possibly imagine the mayhem that was about to ensue.

            The routine disruption began like any other. Melanie came to the door of Room 322 and asked Marek for the key to the office of Dr. Grabowski, the Comm department’s rookie broadcasting professor.

            “I don’t have the key, I’m sorry,” responded Marek calmly.

            “Look, I really need this key.”

            “I don’t have the key,” repeated Marek indignantly while his class of young journalists began to chuckle nervously at the bizarre scene playing out before them.

“It’s right there, in your hand! Look, I need the key to get into Grabowski’s office!” exclaimed Melanie, pointing angrily at Marek’s hands, which held a large green Froggy keychain, presumably holding the infamous key itself. 

            “Grabowski who? Tell him to come up here and get the key himself!”

            “Do I need to call security?” threatened Melanie, who by now wore a furious look on her face that betrayed her usually friendly demeanor. Before Marek could take any measures to defend himself, Melanie lunged at the former Wall Street salesman shouting “Give me the key!”

            After wresting little Froggy from Marek’s hands, Melanie concluded the encounter by planting a mean slap on Marek’s shoulder, presumably meant to exacerbate the professor’s upper back pain. Melanie then ran out of the class triumphantly with the key finally in hand.

            Amid the bewilderment caused by the incident, Marek continued the class as if nothing had happened—even giving his students a dreaded homework assignment to do over the weekend.

            Speculation has linked Thursday morning’s encounter with the recent and equally bizarre theft of a camera tripod from the Comm department’s office on the first floor of Leo Hall. What left people scratching their heads after news of the theft broke was the fact that the culprit took only the tripod, which should logically have been taken with the camera.  

            “That girl fight in journalism class was definitely a sign of the distrust among the Comm faculty. No one trusts each other anymore. It seems that even when it comes to asking someone else for a key, everyone automatically suspects the worst,” said a Comm 209 student who asked not to be named in this article for fear of receiving an F in Marek’s class.