Let me pose a hypothetical situation for you, you are a pretty normal teenager, trying to struggle through high school, getting your homework done, and seeing friends on the weekend, your working a part time job because the occasional coffee and weekend movie is a little more expensive then it usually is, the only thing that separates you from your peers is that you are gay.
That little word as a gay youth becomes something that nearly took over your life. A friend, who would like to remain anonymous due to the fact that he is still in the closet, when asked about being gay and not out said “Its awful, I am constantly watching my back, I have to wonder if the way I sit or stand or walk has given me away, and I am terrified about how my family will react when they find out (about being gay) one day”.
But now imagine that fear gone, because your parents are also gay, that coming out to them will be a breeze because they are gay themselves so they will understand, and they will accept you because you are just like them. Sadly this isn’t the case. Recently a study done by The Family Process says that many gay parents feel pressure to raise “hetero-normative” children, or straight children. That even homosexual parent’s try and raise straight children, because in our society this is the sign of a successful up bring.
What is even more Ironic, then gay parents not approving of their gay offspring, is the fact that in this modern day and age, there are more and more scientific journals that show being gay is genetic and has almost nothing to do with upbringing. For example a study done by the University of Illinois at Chicago claims that there are several genetic factors that go into making a human gay or not, saying "It builds on previous studies that have consistently found evidence of genetic influence on sexual orientation.....”
In the study it was said that the reason that same-sex parents want to raise straight children is because in our society “the sign of a successful upbringing is normal, in this case straight children”. But when I asked my aforementioned friend why he thinks this is the case he said something that kind of shocked me, and made me think why I hadn’t thought of it myself. “Personally I am not surprised this is the case, in today’s world homosexuality is still seen as a bad thing, something abnormal, uncommon, almost a defect, raising a straight child would be easier on the child, making friends (being teased less), and all that, and as gay people themselves, the parents know all this, and no parent wants their child to be teased”.
Another friend of mine named Joanne Muir, who is a child psychologist and has studied consciousness studies, felt similarly when I asked her the same question, why she thinks that gay parents feel pressure to raise straight children. “You would be surprised at how powerful collective thought can be, something like child rearing especially. If our society thinks that children should be one way, then its hard to escape that, but on a more personal note these parents grew up gay themselves, they know what their child might be going through at school, and with their peers”.
But no matter what the reason, both of them agreed on one thing, that it was a sad commentary on the culture if this was the case, and that gay children of gay parents don’t even catch a break. In this world were five gay teen youths have died due to homophobia, this distaste for something considered out of the ordinary has even infiltrated the homes of gay parents, whether they are aware of it or not.
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